Dan Rather Boards the Crazy Train
we've been saying it for years... Dan Rather should be locked up in some sort of maximum security insane asylum. these clips from election night '04 further prove our point. Here
Here's some of our favorites:
"His lead is as thin as turnip soup."
"This race is humming along like Ray Charles."
"The presidential race is swinging like Count Basie."
"This race is hotter than the Devil's anvil."
"Ohio becomes like a sauna for the two candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat."
"One's reminded of that old saying, 'Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek.'"
"This situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache.''
posted by thatoneshow @ 11:59 PM
14 comments
14 Comments:
dan's not crazy! "His lead is as thin as turnip soup." We all know that turnip soup is thin. He wouldn't reference a hearty soup, such as a chowder, if a candidate was leading by a slim margin.
I agree, who hasn't heard of that old alligator story. How can you cross a creek with an angry alligator in your way. The only thing crazy about that is taunting the alligator. I say leave it alone. And now, with the destruction of their natural habitats, alligators are showing up in more creeks. Leave them along, I say.
So, Dan Rather, how do you KNOW exactly how hot the Devil's anvil is? Is it because you are in cahoots with the Devil? Hmmm?
The race was heating up and I wanted to let the public know how hot things were getting. The only thing hotter than hell is the devil's anvil. The devil is always working on fabricating metal objects for his minions to work with. Think of all the people in hell. Now think about all the tools the devil needs to make for those people. Put them both together. Yes, that anvil is flaming hot.
- Dan Rather
Hi Dan, I am glad you could join us and I've been a long time fan. I'm from Finland so I know a thing or two about saunas. And you were spot on in referring Ohio to a sauna during this time. What the purpose of a sauna? To sweat. How do you sweat? By waiting. All we could do at this time was wait and that made some of us sweat. We all miss you buddy. At least you live on through your words.
I'm not dead! I'm just not on the TV anymore. I'm like a gob of peanut butter on top of a dog's nose. Try to get rid of me, but you can't. Ha! Add that to your list of quotes.
- Dan Rather
I'm like the swine flu. You try to get rid of me, but I adapt. I'm adaptable CBS.
- Dan Rather
Who's Count Basie?
Count Basie was an American jazz pianist. So to say that the race was swinging like the Count, he was obviously referring to his big band sound, with hit classics like, "One o'Clock Jump. Classic. How can you not start swinging to the Count.
"This race is humming along like Ray Charles?" What does that mean, Mr. Rather? I mean, the race has rhythm? The race has melody? It just doesn't make any sense. I'd tell you to jump on the peace train, but I'm not so sure we want you on...
Moonshadow. Comparing a race with the voice of Ray Charles or any musician is as common as adding milk to your coffee. You can't go down the street with out hearing someone say, "Oh that race is purring like Shakira." Or, "Oh that race is hopping like Tupac."
And, what is this train you refer too? And who is on it? It sounds imaginary to me and the only trains I ride are real. Like America.
The above post was from me, Dan Rather.
-Dan Rather
With all due respect, what the hell kind of streets do you walk down, Mr. Rather?
The train of which I speak is, in fact, the only real part of these comments. If you are too far gone to understand that, sir, then I pity you (with all due respect).
Maybe I've just been on this train too long to be hip to what's happening on "the street" these days, but if what you say is true (and I highly doubt that), I'm happy to stay on the peace train. Thank you.
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